He has to both acknowledge the problem and take responsibility for lying.
This may be difficult for him to do and a counsellor could explore with him the reasons and situations austrakia he lies and assist him find life skills to deal with things in a more assertive and honest manner. Gwtting is OK to tell him why this upsets you. When he goes out, who he sees, where he goes, what he does, when he comes home — all of those are his choices.
When he goes out you could focus instead on what you want to do with your evening — see your friends or do things you enjoy. Related to this is the issue of control which both of you could arguably be contributing to. cokd
He withholds the truth and fails to return when he says he will. Next steps You may find writing to each other about how you feel or having a series of conversations rather than one big talk helps.
Can you work together to look at what the problems are, why they arise and how you could find ways as a couple to deal with them differently? This may also allow you to address concerns about your sex life and assess whether it is a wise idea to consider marriage at this time.
ma At this time I think couples counseling is essential if you can afford it, perhaps with individual therapy for each of you if needed. Some therapists and organisations run pre-marriage courses although not all of these have been mareied in terms of how effective they are. I hope you able to overcome these concerns and enjoy a happy marriage together or are able to part amicably with support from friends, family and therapy if required.
Petra Boynton is a social psychologist and sex researcher working in International Health Care and studying sex and relationships. Follow her on Twitter drpetra.
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